Are you struggling to live by your rules?

January 22, 2014

On Sonshine FM (98.5) at 7:45am this Wednesday morning I was asked how do we get clear on the rules we want to live by and actually live them. I will now expand on that interview.

As children, we learned the rules to live by when we didn’t have the ability to discern whether they were moral or empowering. Our brainwave activity was predominantly Delta and Theta, meaning we were practically in a hypnotic trance for the first 7 years!

So as we become adults, we end up conflicted by the rules we consciously learn to live by versus the rules previously formed and hidden within our subconscious. This is why we often ‘know better’ yet still do what we know is not good for us. This is why emotions like guilt and shame are a daily part of our struggle.

Many people are searching for ways to help them undo the destructive bad habits that generate toxic emotions. A client yesterday said the books they read are great, but getting the ideas to stick has proven to quite difficult.

An important part of becoming empowered to live by better rules is to make ourselves malleable to the change required within us. Whether it’s prayer, meditation, brain training or any other discipline that sends us into a trance, this is an important part of softening our position on some of the destructive rules and internalising the new ones as our new truth, so we can emotionally be driven by them.

Just as we learned through repetitive experiences as children, we need to orchestrate the same opportunity to learn as adults. The brain will learn through emotionally stimulating repetition, making it purposeful, engaging, exciting and fun in a range of ways. This is why reading books usually forms a small part of what is required to achieve permanent change.

Finding repetitive ways to reinforce the logic and power of the rules we want to live by requires creativity and resilience. So committing to personally developing ourselves to become more creative and intuitive through mental and emotional exercises is needed.

Rehearsing how we will deal with the temptation to live the old rules and how excited we are with living the new rules as our new normal, is vital preparation for the brain. It rewires so we can think, feel and act the way we need to when the opportunities arise.

If we don’t prepare for the resistance to establishing new habits, we usually fall back into our old programming and continue to struggle living the rules that matter to us most. This is why rehearsing our resilience and being strategic with where we spend our time needs our focus. Spending less time in environments that support the old rules and more time in environments that support the new is going to reward our efforts with quicker results.

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George Helou has 15 years personal development and life coaching experience and a two time best selling author. For more information on Perth based and online Life Coaching service and his EP7 Empowered for Purpose Coaching program visit or call (08) 6102 1055.

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