How to HEM: 5 Steps to dissolve a draining emotional state in minutes

H.E.M.  Honour your Emotion for a Minute

If you have not read the previous blog that shows you why HEM is powerful, here is the link here. 

HEM is about honouring the purpose of how you feel; your emotional state, and sitting with that emotion long enough without judgment to reveal the purpose that triggers you into that emotion and holds you there. The premise is, if that emotional state is disempowering you, you will discover the F.E.AR that has deceived you and by exposing it, you will be shocked and released from that deception. Without that deceptive purpose to feel that emotion, this emotional state dissolves, seeing you free. 

This is how to HEM: –

Step 1 – Name the draining emotion you’re stuck in.

Step 2 – Get clear on the circumstance causing that emotion. For example, I’m angry at my partner for always talking over me.

Step 3 – Honour it by closing your eyes and sitting comfortably in that emotion without distraction or judgment and commit to at least one minute in that state.

Step 4 – Allow that state of just feeling the emotion to bring the insights of the purpose of needing that emotion. Question ‘Why’ of each insight to guide you through the cause and effect chain to get to the root cause.

Step 5 – Come out of that space when you feel ready to benchmark it against your logic and wisdom to see if it is F.E.A.R based.

I will run an example from a client’s HEM experience recently so you know how this can work. 

Step 1 – Emotion: Anxiety

Step 2 – Circumstance: When partner is feeling down.

Step 3 – Allow yourself to feel the anxiety with your eyes closed for a minute and with the intent to understand why it happens when your partner is feeling down.

Step 4 – Insights that came to client: When he is feeling down, I feel anxious because I fear he will harm himself. Why? Because people who feel down harm themselves and try to end their life? Why? Because my mum attempted to 3 times that I know of and I feared being abandoned.

Step 5 – Benchmark against personal experience and wisdom: Has he ever tried to harm himself before? No. Does everyone have ups and downs? Yes. Do you want to allow people to have their downs without the pressure of you feeling they’re going to abandon you? YES. Are you allowing False Evidence to Appear Real? YES.

The client was shocked because for 2 decades with her partner that is connection was never made. She felt a release from having to continue to live through that assumption and her anxiety no longer feels appropriate. Time will tell if this breakthrough is sustained and more HEM work and other tools can continue to undo this draining emotional state.

Have you instinctively gone through this HEM process already? Or can you give HEM a try and share your experiences with us? I will share too.

It’s time to honour our emotions and undo the F.E.A.R that keeps us stuck in the ones that derail us from our vitality and purpose.

The next time you’re stuck in a draining emotional state, make sure you HEM it! 

 George Helou is the founder of EP7 – Empowered for Purpose in 7 Steps. Life Coach, Work Culture Consultant, Author and Motivational Speaker, George has 15 years personal development experience and is based in his Life Coach Perth Office in Subiaco. 08 9380 8350.

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