I noticed that I have a lot to do in 2016. It made me a little anxious because these goals mean a lot to me. The challenge is, there are overseas trips and the commitment to daily life coaching which makes the need for me to focus all the more necessary.
I then allowed myself to feel flat, like a mild depression; being de-pressed from the go go go into everything in front of me was a conscious decision to make so I can re-evaluate. It’s all about the pause so you can breathe and reflect on what is actually going on versus what you really want.
In that neutral space, this is what became apparent to me: –
I was in the habit of pushing opportunities by giving value, but they were not reciprocating. I was using my abundant giving and trust in their good nature for the opportunity to flourish. And I was persisting for months and months with no sense of responsibility to reign in the inequality that was becoming habit in the partnerships.
There were two key areas where I noticed this was taking place and I was taken a back by how oblivious I was to the signs that they were not in the mindset to value and pay back. Talking it is not the same as taking actions.
This is not to say they are not worth working with – on the contrary, I still believe our mutual collaboration is purposeful. The difference is, either I spoilt the partnership by not asserting an equal giving or they are not yet in the headspace to reciprocate. Either way, the partnership needs to be paused until the unspoken agreement to keep giving without receiving can be addressed. There is no respect or sustainability in that kind of relationship, no matter how much you care and appreciate each other.
I also noticed how tempting it can be for us to feel successful because other people decide we are. Success is not determined by people saying you’ve succeeded – its what you feel on the inside because of what you are doing and achieving, irrespective of opinions. This allowed me to hone in on what really matters most; the empowered for purpose difference in all relationships in my life where it can be paid forward. People in the habit to take mode will not pay it forward. They will keep creating the drama that keeps in them take mode. Of course I am speaking generally here.
This clarity made me very excited because I now could see my year without the time allocated to time wasting ventures. All of a sudden I could see myself finishing my key projects.
Now, I have this determined resolve to remove the distractions and feed the areas that will make 2016 truly fulfilling for those I engage and myself; an important ingredient in the mix, right? 🙂
Have you noticed areas in your life that you are in the habit of giving your energy and time, that perhaps are not feeding your purpose? Are you addressing them? If not, why? And if so, how?