It is very common to leave yourself last as an act of love for your family, staff and friends. We end up stressing, getting sick and becoming irritable and not so loving when we are pushed too far and end up running on empty. We also can end up rebelling and becoming selfish in our desperate attempt to preserve our life and sanity. But does it really have to be this way?
So who is “you”? Are you your brain or that spark that operates it and your body? The brain is designed to continue to rewire until it can become compatible in its mental state to handle the environment. Nature always adapts to have a sustainable relationship with its environment playing a part in an ecosystem.
It’s in our nature to create sustainable relationships, but through insecurity and over-protection, we lose the balance of receiving enough to keep giving. It takes courage and discipline to believe in a better way where you are included. And it is difficult to resist the urge and habit of continuing to react to needs as though they are our sole responsibility.
Laziness is a symptom of not being motivated, because you don’t anticipate the outcome or the reward will justify the effort. So is it worth your while to stop sacrificing and invest in a way where your needs are met too? What keeps us from being motivated to do this? A lack of belief in the possibilities and/or the awareness of the design of nature and our role in it?
The key questions are: do you believe there are always better ways? And if you do believe that, what effort do you make to pause and seek better ways? Are you lazy if you couldn’t be bothered doing what is difficult but necessary?
I don’t believe we are meant to be stretched beyond our means and thanks to my passion for our unlimited imagination and the abundance of life, I know we are equipped to undo the narrowed view that prevents the discovery of better ways.
Sometimes we give much more than we receive for weeks, months or years, but the balance must be restored. We can observe others in similar situations and discover a very different way of viewing and relating to the same situations where we thought we had no choice, but apparently there always were . . . choices.
The kicker is, your brain will only allow you to notice what you are conditioned into the subconscious to believe is real. So if you are emotionally attached to a world that is hard, where you have to give beyond your means just to feel worthy of love and respect, then your brain will only show you those opportunities and the challenges that come with it – and nothing else. It’s the pause, the humility and the prayer or meditation, that can create enough stillness to let the ideas flood in, that can set you free from this cruel enslavement.
I think we need to be responsible for creating sustainable relationships and if we are allowing ourselves to be drained and stressed into sickness, then we need to dig deep and stop our emotional attachment to being that way and allowing it to continue. We can reimagine a better way, always.