There’s a good chance that the powerful wisdom that’s responsible for creating your business success is being underutilised. This wisdom can be leveraged to improve every vital area of your life including your well-being and it can enrich your family life too.
Business leaders who manage several hundred employees, like Managing Directors and CEOs, know what they are doing and do not fluke success. They are always looking for an edge.
Recently, for some of my higher profile business clients, that edge has had less to do with business and much more to do with well-being, relating to mental and emotional health as well as family.
Many are so focused on everyone else, they did not consider that a focus on themselves is relevant and important. They even feel selfish at the idea of having extra holidays or taking time off work for personal reasons.
Recently, a CEO was struggling with his company that no longer needs him operationally. His intrinsic value and identity had been so tightly wrapped around his operational role, he felt like he was plunging into the abyss as he approached his goal of redundancy.
I asked him to list the philosophy he aligns with that has made him a successful CEO. I then asked him to list his philosophy on what it takes to have a great family. Finally, I asked him to list his philosophy on how he should look after his well being.
There was no surprise to either of us when his business philosophy was by far the longest and most detailed list. A third of that content was his contribution to the family list and 2 lines were all he could put together for himself.
This experience made him realise how underdone his commitment to himself was but he felt it was justified. His mental health and body did not agree. Unconditional love and support were a part of his mantra to family. This was robbing his children of realising their potential because he felt the constant pressure of providing the answers to help them avoid all hardship.
So we expanded his business philosophy during our session. He came alive during this process because it was his passion and flow. I suggested that perhaps the philosophy that made his business thrive was the same philosophy that would be relevant for the way he engages his family and even himself. He was initially confused and spectacle at the notion. Apart from affection and sensuality, you would be surprised how transferable the wisdom is.
He would soon be shocked to realise that he was the foundation to his family and business. If he did not honour that foundation, he could not support them in a sustainable and rewarding way. It was already starting to sabotage his efforts through high anxiety and the undermining of his health.
Here are a series of questions to help you begin re-contextualising your business wisdom into your personal life to gain mental and emotional well being: –
Are you fair and balanced in business with KPIs, constructive ongoing feedback and consequences to poor behaviour and non performance? Are your children getting the quality attention and guidance you give your employees on a daily basis?
If your employees act like co-dependant children and assume unconditional support despite their attitude and non performance, would you fire them? Do you find yourself being a very soft or overly militant parent with your children? Are you making your children too co-dependant on you and are they feeling too inadequate because they’re not doing it your way?
Are you innovating ways to inspire your children and a quality partnership with meaningful consequences that prepares them for the world that will never be as forgiving as you? Are you building resilience in yourself and your family that you always ensure exists in your business?
Your business is an asset. Your family is an asset. They all can thrive in a sustainable way when you see yourself, your body and your state of mind as an asset to be prioritised, protected and nurtured.
Recently, my 8 year old daughter was resisting discussing the reasons behind her emotional outburst for making a mistake. I realised that I was not giving the same commitment to help her breakthrough her resistance the way I was helping my clients on a daily basis. So I applied my coaching principles and kept innovating my approach until we achieved a breakthrough.
A part of that was telling the story of a little boy who learned that he needed to be perfect to be loved. Hence mistakes were very scary for him and were not seen as opportunities to learn and grow. Ironically, he overreacted when people made mistakes, making life scary for them.
If you have been imbalanced, how have you adapted your principles to your personal life with great results?