March 21, 2012
Its 2:34am and I cannot sleep. I’ve been awake since 1:30am. I thought a second session of brain training focused on inducing sleep would do the trick and it obviously has not! Instead, I was taken into an altered lucid state that expanded my perspective on unconditional love and it’s power over tyranny.
This perspective ignited a potent dose of unconditional love within me, for mother Earth and every person living here – yes all 7 billion. Yes, that would include even the tyrants that wreaked havoc overtly and covertly over people for thousands of years. I began to review my conflicts and was losing my judgments for very person in my past and present effortlessly and replacing it with love.
So why would I love them? Well loving them is not condoning their actions. Empathy and compassion allows us to connect to the cause and effect chain that compels someone to consistently feel, think and act in a certain way. Hence when it is destructive, we can perceive accurately the mental and emotional prison that trapped and continues to hold them captive. Part of what makes this trap is the lack of perspective to be aware that another way of being exists and even if that other way is perceived, having the level of courage to dare challenge that way of existing and moving beyond it feels incredibly daunting and overwhelming.
So how can we embrace the tyrant? Until tonight, I could not and would not allow myself to entertain it emotionally and therefore kept the philosophy of how, vague and at arms length. I had a vested interested in judging and despising tyrants. Yet tonight, for whatever reason after an amazing day of connecting with coaching clients, it seemed I was primed to delve into the area where my next blockage needed attention.
I now will attempt to take you into the world of the tyrant. Are we all tyrants in varying degrees? I believe so. Is this the type of tyrant I am referring to? In a way yes, but mostly I am looking at the level of tyranny that has lost the ability to value other people’s lives. So if we have the tyrant and victim swing within us that affects and infects our relationships to all things, we can traverse the path to its extreme and end up understanding the worst tyrant archetype. The psychopath, who has amassed global power and consistently abuses that power against all people.
There is a boy who wants to learn about life. He looks to his parents for guidance, security and nurturing. He is compelled to remain bonded to feel safe and with that emotional security, he ventures into new experiences, sparked by his persistent curiosity. At this point, morality is a vague philosophical notion that he begins to grapple with through life lessons.
He experiences physical pain through his falls and works out, this pain seems to exist in living things as their reactions are virtually identical to his. Through his social connections, he learns that pain also resides in his feelings and the same applies to other living things. He experiences this personally through his pets and friends.
It was a world that was fascinating until the unexplainable began to happen. In a world for a very young child, when harsh treatment is absent of reason and love, insecurity is dramatically increased. We call it trauma. It may begin with small things like smacks on the hand or bottom for spilling milk. To many parents, this is perfectly normal. To the child, its total disorientation as they struggle to comprehend being physical abused for an accident caused by their under developed motor skills.
Then it continues to worsen as the child is repeatedly wacked for having an opinion that contrasts with the parent. For getting carried away with a play session that caused a mess. Asking for something at an inconvenient time that enrages an insecure parent often on edge, which results in senseless beatings. This child find’s itself in a hostile environment with only one thing it can do to cope; disassociate. The pain of feeling unsafe, unloved and misunderstood by their most intimate guardians throws their mental and emotional stability into free fall. Dissociating from the experience mentally in order to shut off the emotional pain is the only escape, by compartmentalising the experience in a part of the brain that can be avoided.
This is why physically and sexually abused children can be at the dinner table with their abuser, engaging in laughter and appearing perfectly normal. They literally can block the traumatic experiences out of their awareness so they can function without emotional distress. They can get so good at compartmentalizing, that they learn to do it automatically as a new skill. Therefore, whenever there is a trigger inviting them to feel anything relating to that pain, they automatically disengage from being able to feel that emotion.
This is how they lose their ability to feel empathy. Instead, they are apathetic to abuse around them as a form of self-preservation. If they allowed themselves to feel the pain for another, it would immediately associate with the intense fear and cruel turmoil of their own memories that would force them to relive the nightmare that tortured and rendered them unable to function mentally and emotionally. The brain does not require this apathy to be made consciously, as this would be a repetitive instruction. All repetitive instructions are moved into the subconscious so they can be effortlessly and automatically managed.
The dilemma for this individual is the constant environmental signals that trigger the association to the web of traumatic memories and their intense emotional experiences, existing in the subconscious and separated from the conscious. The person does not recall the traumatic event when a situation appears potentially similar, like a glass of milk being spilt. Instead, they feel the intense emotion associated to the memory because the brain is interpreting the likelihood of threat is imminent. They are feeling compelled to act or react in anticipation of a beating without recalling the specific past memories being related to.
We know these emotional states as anxiety and panic attacks that can be triggered with no logical reason to justify those reactions. To manage their social relationships, the person learns to mask these reactions and mitigate them. They learn to isolate themselves and control their environments in order to minimise these threats, which feel real despite the fact they are not. Later in life, they may resort instructing a servant to pour them their milk at breakfast.
From Bully to Psychopath
To cope in the education system, they adopt bullying behaviour or physical isolation strategies from the peers that too often joke and tease. The student relating to this traumatised person has no idea that their choice of words and actions are triggering intense anxiety and rage that motivates them to adopt proactive measures to ward of threats. Their way of coping with the ongoing threat of being hurt often includes intimidation. When society increases its judgment and contempt for their bullying behaviour, they evolve into stealth bullying. Eventually, the bully at school has become the calculating psychopath.
Now we have an adult perfectly assimilated into society, who appears normal and charming. Yet the abuse they inflict on their children is hidden from public scrutiny and the intense desire for power means they justifiably undermine and trample over anyone on their way up the corporate ladder or other powerful positions like in politics, the police force and military.
The psychopath learned to adapt to a personality that gains the trust and respect of his peers. The decisions are made intellectually to make moral decisions mainly to influence and satisfy their ambition to gain more power. For this individual, power is paramount because power means safety. If you can control your environment with money, strategic intimidation and influence, then you have increased your chances of avoiding harm.
As we can see, a tyrant is formed out of a tyrannical environment where cruelty happens for no apparent or justifiable reason. They learn to relate to life as a hostile place with a view of protecting themselves from it at all costs. The greater their trauma and insecurity, the more power they need to cope. The highest of positions in the corporate and government sectors for instance becomes attractive safe place where they can hide and control. In these places, they can buy remote mansions with large gates. They can hire security and bodyguards. They can attend or host parties with complete control, ensuring every detail is attended to, so no criticism can trigger their anxiety.
They isolate themselves emotionally from every facet of human life to the extent that they become incapable of relating to the values that exist in a safe environment. Such heart-based values like genuineness, authenticity, love, affection, respect and are foreign ideas. They dismiss these ideas as foolish because that loving world is non-existent to their perception and personal experience.
They do not have an ability to be physically faithful to anyone because that would mean they are emotionally committed to someone who probably is betraying them behind their back. Their donations to charities are purely to perpetuate the personality they learned to display to once again minimise criticism and reasons for people to attack them emotionally and physically. Every act of kindness is motivated by the fear of unkindness. They only give to stay in control of every relationship that is useful to them in their overall strategy to continue to build their wealth because wealth is power and power is safety.
They are the loneliest people on the planet. In a crowded room with people complementing their possessions and achievements, they feel nothing but contempt. The only reason they praise others is to win their trust so they can manipulate and gain more power. So any acts of kindness towards them is corrupted by a resolve that all acts of kindness are motivated by hidden agendas.
Stealth Survival Strategies
Their survival instincts are extraordinarily high, allowing them to sense danger. Their paranoia ensures they have multiple contingencies so they are never in a position where they are feeling vulnerable. They also can sense other psychopaths and learn to collaborate, while maintaining their guard. Given the chance, they would destroy all their collaborators, as they would view them as the most intelligent of all threats.
So what do you think such people in elite positions are capable of in a world of 7 billion people? How threatened do you think they feel by the potential of being found out? How much vested interest do you think they have of hoarding global resources to ensure people can never gain enough power to be a threat to them. Why do you think the 1% own 80% of the wealth? And a fraction of that 1% own the majority of even that wealth? Do you think they would ever rest in a political position that can be voted out? Or would they be the ones ensuring they controlled all of the people being voted in?
Lying, cheating, killing happens every day in our world. On the local scale, it’s the bully and the desperate criminal who has learned to take from others to survive. On a global scale, how do you think wars are routinely justified? Why do you think so much, media is owned by so few? If you are being told a version of reality enough times, the brain has no option but to adopt it as the reality.
History of Breeding Tyrants
Our history is brimming with tyrant dictators and corrupt governments that were overthrown by revolutions. Why do you think history continues to repeat itself? Are we perpetually breeding psychopaths? In this modern day, the tyrants have learned to maintain power through stealth. When revolutions are won, the frontline might be conquered, but the controllers remained in the shadows, immediately plotting to secretly regain more power and resources, all over again. If we don’t know they are the enemy, then we have no reason to stop them and will remain open and susceptible to being controlled under the guise they are acting in our best interests. If we learned to pride democracy and peace, they learned to package their agenda under those headings.
Perspective and Understanding
So why am I telling you this? So you can be angry and despise them? No, but you are forgiven for feeling anger and hate towards tyrants who rape and pillage the innocents of children, people and entire countries, everyday. The reason why I am telling you this is because there are innocent children trapped in their bodies. Who never knew love and were tortured at a time when they had not even made sense of what life has to offer. They immediately were hijacked into a mental prison where the world was a nasty and dangerous place, especially with the people in it.
These innocent children need the very thing they never got. Not temporarily but unconditionally. Imagine loving them unconditionally? Imagine finding it in our hearts to understand and offer compassion rather than the persistent condemnation that made them feel justified in erecting thicker and higher security gates and paying millions of dollars for special forces to protect them?
Loving them unconditionally is not to be confused with condoning or allowing their behaviour to continue. Loving them unconditionally helps identify their true identity as children of God like we all are; equal in worth and potential to be amazing for each other. An identity they don’t comprehend because they were separated from it and prevented from figuring how it can possibly exit at all. Just like we were, but with a lot more intense pain, fear and suffering they had to dissociate from to survive.
Without the perspective of our eternal divine nature, none of this would make any sense. To disconnect from the divine mother/father parent as unconditionally loving us, we risk being the very tyrants that perpetuate the cycle of hate, violence and also play the identical role of corrupting the innocents of our children with our fears and doubts.
At what point are we going to acknowledge that these children in adult bodies are feeling deep sadness and loneliness just like we are? Every time we doubt our self-worth and potential to be great and are tortured by the illusions that delude us from this truth, don’t we cope through aggression, especially passive aggression?
Building our Capacity for Empathy
So to establish empathy for this psychopathic tyrant is the first step. Now multiple the emotional intensity of the pain enough to push you over the edge mentally and emotionally. To the point where the only way to survive is to somehow, in some way, escape it. And you struggle because wherever you go, whatever you say and do, the same pain keeps crashing into you, overwhelming you until you realize there is no place to hide.
All of a sudden a little door opens in the brain and pulls you into another neural network where the memories don’t exist where the pain is note triggered in the body. Oh the relief to have that reprieve. The memories are still fresh and easy to recall, but you dare not recall them because you know how painful they are going to be. You now have to stay in this new place at all costs. Nothing can ever make you go there again. How much money do you need? Get it! How many times do you need to lie? Do it! How many other people have to die before they have the chance to kill you? As many as it takes.
The Power of Compassion and Unconditional Love
I have compassion for the person who is forced to live such a distorted, warped and sick reality. Do they have a choice to heal from this? I believe they do. Are they aware of that choice, probably not? IF they are aware of that choice, will their emotional trauma make it incredible difficult to dare to try. It certainly will.
So what would the World be like if we all could love each other unconditionally? Would we be offering these mentally ill people an environment that sends love signals that would overwhelm the brain with a new reality that was previously non-existent? The brain does not know what is real or not – it is why these tyrants were able to live such a despicable version of reality to begin with. Its how we can doubt our potential for a life time!
What if our foundation was the truth of our equality and we connected to our capacity to love unconditionally. How would our environment change? What would happen to our relationships? What would this do to the collective consciousness of our global society? What would this do to our relationship to nature; mother Earth?
What do we do when our persistent invitations for love, not fear, are not heard by the few, who couldn’t afford risk trusting ever again? They could not feel the love or see any other option but to protect themselves from threats, although they did not really exist? Once they are exposed, do you think they are going to remain isolated? When they are exposed and the World does not seek to crush them, do you think that little child is going to feel love for the very first time?
Is this a grand miracle we are destined to share? I feel so.
Seizing being the Victim
In the meantime, lets be the change we want in everyone else. Lets show each other exceptional love, tolerance, trust and respect. Lets provide our children with the love and security they deserve. Lets at least plant the seeds for a future generation that will only know about psychopaths and tyranny in their history classes. Let us also find a way to communicate and share our understanding about tyranny in all aspects of life. Let’s also vote out all psychopaths from leadership positions in very institution, corporation that is entrusted with our resources and well being as a society, ensuring the laws are not in their hands so these laws can adequately protect our liberties and freedoms rather than their positions of power. Let us also begin an education process to remove the ignorance that perpetuates this destructive and horrendous cycle of the tyrant-victim where there are no winners.
Love and light to all of us
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George Helou has 15 years personal development and life coaching experience and a two time best selling author. For more information on Perth based and online Life Coaching service and his EP7 Empowered for Purpose Coaching program visit www.lifecoachperth.com or call (08) 6102 1055.